Breast cancer awareness - lessons and resources
We’re coming to the end of Breast Cancer Awareness month. It’s a month that brings me mixed feelings. I think it's fantastic that there is so much coverage of the topic because everyone (yes men too) needs to be checking their chests. But, there is a lot of pink-washing. Do you know how much of the money from the products in pink packaging this month goes to a breast cancer charity? No, neither do I.
For those going through treatment it can be triggering when everything looks happy, pink and fluffy. Believe me, as someone going through chemo in October two years ago, there's nothing pink or fluffy about breast cancer.
That all said though, it’s so important to raise awareness and so I’m sharing the blog I wrote last year. It’s longer than usual but please do read and share because this information could save your life!
55,000 women in Britain are diagnosed with breast cancer each year and around 350 men. Yes – men can get it too. It’s rare but it happens. That’s one in seven women. Once over 50 women in Britain are invited for mammograms. This makes a lot of women think that they aren’t at risk of breast cancer under 50 and so rarely, if ever, check their breasts. Wrong! Although breast cancer is more common in older women it can develop at any age. We aren’t screened at a younger age because breast tissue is more dense and so it’s harder for a mammogram to detect tumours.
You should be checking your breasts once a month – and the males in your life should be checking their pecs too. It takes a couple of minutes and could save your life. Some people always check on the first of the month so that they remember. Others choose the day of their birthday to check so if your birthday is 24th October you check on 24th of each month. Choose a date and stick with it and start checking.
There are some great guides to show you how to do it. The charity Coppafeel has some great resources. Also Dr Liz O’Riordan (a British breast surgeon who has had breast cancer three times) has some fabulous resources to help on Instagram.
Know your body and go and get anything unusual for you checked out – it could save your life. Being told you have cancer is scary. But what is scarier is how different my prognosis could have ended up being if I’d chosen to ignore the cyst that I’d found.
Breast Cancer awareness month with its explosion of pink can make breast cancer appear as the pink fluffy cancer we don’t need to worry about. I had a woman at the door say not to worry because breast cancer is a bit like catching a cold these days it’s so common! I think she meant well but please add that to your list of things never to say to any cancer patient!
While the prognosis for primary breast cancer is often excellent, in Britain 31 women a day die from metastatic or secondary breast cancer. Different names for the same thing – breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body. Those living with this condition are on permanent treatment until they run out of treatment options. Check your breasts! If you take nothing else from this blog please let that sink in and start doing it.
So, what else has treatment taught me that I want you to know too?
Lesson one– I’m stronger than I think and so are you! Most of us don’t realise how strong we are until life throws us these curve balls. We may not feel strong every day. Believe me chemo is the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. There were days when I was a weepy mess – but we get through it. I watched the strength of my friends and family as they had to deal with the emotion and worry of what I was going though. Friends whose own lives were complicated. They faced bereavements, diagnosis of other friends and family and job losses during my illness. They all had the strength to face what life dealt them.
Just because it feels hard, or you have a cry every day doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. It doesn’t mean that everyone else is dealing with this better than you. You have reserves of strength you don’t realise and won’t realise until you really need them – remember that.
Lesson two - know and remember that not knowing the right thing to say doesn’t matter. Tell your friend you’re there for them and mean it. Admit that you don’t know what to say but you want to support them. Tell them you love them and stay in touch. Staying in contact is so important as cancer treatment can be very isolating.
Lesson three - the importance of asking for help and accepting it. If you’re the one diagnosed no matter how independent you are, you’re going to need help. And if as a friend you say, “Is there anything I can do?” mean it. And make sure your friend knows you mean it.
We often say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” but how often does anyone take you up on it? We think people are just being polite and we don’t want to take advantage or be a burden. The thing is though, cancer treatment is tough. The side-effects and the fatigue especially mean that we need help. But in the moment it can be hard to articulate that so be clear. If you mean you’d be happy to do the shopping, cook and deliver meals, have the kids overnight or after school say so.
Make it clear that you really mean you’re willing to help. I know how hard it can be to pick up the phone and say, “You know you said if there was anything I needed…”. I lost count of the number of prescriptions I needed collecting, the number of lifts to appointments or bits of shopping.
Lesson four - let go of the guilt. A life lesson for all but so important during cancer treatment. I felt guilty for being ill, for having cancer and the emotional and physical burden that was putting on my family and friends. I realised I was blaming myself for getting cancer – there must have been something I’d done or not done. I’ve since discovered that this is very common. Especially because of the amount of disinformation and pseudoscience that’s around.
I found reading, The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to Feel Empowered and Take Control by Professor Trisha Greenhalgh (a British GP who as had breast cancer) and Dr Liz O'Riordan (the breast surgeon I've already mentioned) really helped. Not only did it help me understand all the different elements of my treatment, but to understand that none of my lifestyle choices were to blame.
Lesson five - the changes that cancer treatment cause to your body can really knock your confidence. Hair loss is hard. Body changes from surgery are hard. Weight gain from steroids and chemo is hard. It all takes a toll on confidence even if we’d like to think that such things are superficial. When you look in the mirror and you don’t see a person you recognise that’s tough.
Two charities helped me rebuild my confidence in my body. Look Good Feel Better offer free workshops to cancer patients both during and post treatment, in-person and online. I did their skincare and makeup workshop after which I received an amazing goodybag filled with products donated by cosmetic companies. I also did their styling for confidence workshop and two brilliant ones on hair loss and regrowth run by their partner from the charity Cancer Hair Care.
Taking part in the workshops not only helped me feel better about my appearance but made me realise I’m not alone.
Here's a list of resources I found invaluable:
Coppafeel https://coppafeel.org/- fabulous resources on how to check yourself
Macmillan Cancer Support https://www.macmillan.org.uk/
Breast Cancer Now https://breastcancernow.org/ - this is the website my oncologist always pointed me to for reliable information.
Cancer Hair Care https://www.cancerhaircare.co.uk/
Look Good Feel Better https://lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/
Ticking off Breast Cancer https://www.tickingoffbreastcancer.com/
Victoria’s Promise https://www.victoriaspromise.org/ - a support group for women under the age of 50 diagnosed with cancer. This provided me with a safe space to talk about what I was going through and lots of support. They also provide support for family members.
On Instagram:
Dr Liz O’Riordan @oriordanliz and Dr Tasha Gandamihardja @drtashag – both British breast surgeons who provide great content on breast health and breast cancer.
Rad chat @rad_chat - two therapeutic radiographers who provide invaluable information about what to expect when you have radiography. They are hosts of the podcast Rad Chat.
Books:
The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to Feel Empowered and Take Control –by Professor Trisha Greenhalgh and Dr Liz O’Riordan
The Cancer Misfit: A Guide to Navigating Life After Treatment by Saskia Lightstar
Get Your Oomph Back: A Guide to Exercise after a Cancer Diagnosis by Carolyn Garritt
So to recap: Please check your breasts monthly and get everyone else you know to do the same. If you’re not sure how to do it or how to broach the subject with others have a look at Coppafeel’s website. And remember my five lessons!
you’re stronger than you think
not knowing the right thing to say doesn’t matter – be there for the person who needs you
ask for help and accept it or offer help and mean it
let go of the guilt
your body confidence in particular will take a knock but there are ways of building it back up
If you have been touched by breast cancer or have any questions please feel free to email me at clare@clarewalshcoaching.com.
