You never know who's listening and who needs to hear what you have to say

I share more of my life than I ever thought I would. And I don’t mean photos of my lunch on Instagram! When you're working in the online space and want to help other women flourish you need to let them get to know who you are. Otherwise they're never going to trust that you're the person who can help them. I could talk about coaching diplomas and hours of training but what matters is the life experience I have. The empathy, the understanding. The knowing what it is like to feel utterly lost. The experience of having to put my life back together again after a cancer diagnosis. That said, I'm still surprised by the power my vulnerability and willingness to share can have.

In July when I was at the women’s festival, Womanifest, the last session I attended was a powerful one. About fifty of us in a circle in a tent being led in a group meditation. Now I meditate every morning – some days more successfully than others and I have done for years. But never before have I been moved to tears during a meditation. The leader asked whether some of us would be willing to share what had come up for us. I, along with a couple of other people, shared what had come to me.

Thanks to giving my talk the day before about how to find yourself again no matter what life throws at you, there had been many conversations about my cancer diagnosis. That morning I’d realised it was the second anniversary of attending the breast clinic to have a lump investigated. In the two years since I’ve had so many people tell me how brave and strong I am and that I’m an inspiration. But, when you’re in it. When it’s happening to you, you feel none of these things. You're in survival mode, doing what needs to be done to keep going and get through it all. You feel neither brave, nor strong and you certainly haven’t signed up to be anyone else’s inspiration!

In the quiet of the meditation as the leader asked us to listen to our heart and what it had to say, I heard loud and clear, “You ARE brave and strong.” And I found myself crying as I let that sink in. Yes I did what needed to be done to survive in the moment. But now, looking back, looking at everything I did not just to survive but to ensure I can flourish. YES! I am brave and strong.

In sharing with the group I described what it’s like to hear it endlessly but not to actually feel it. As the group dispersed, and I was working out how I was going to get up from the floor with a bit of dignity, a woman came over to me. She sat down and began to share her very current cancer journey. She was having chemo the following day and this weekend had been an escape from feeling like a patient. She thanked me for sharing what I had because it was exactly how she was feeling. People telling her she's brave and strong when she felt exhausted, scared, frustrated and was grieving.

We sat and talked as they began to dismantle the tent around us. She thanked me for sharing what I did because it made her feel seen and understood. It let her know that she’s not alone in feeling the way she does and that it does get better.

So, every time I worry I'm sharing too much or saying the same thing again I remind myself, I don’t know who’s listening and who needs to hear what I’m saying.

And I encourage you to do the same. Being open and vulnerable when it’s safe and appropriate to do so can deepen relationships, change lives and help others know they’re not alone.

And this is the reason I’m running my free “Who am I now and what’s next?” coffee dates. A group coaching session when I will share some of my learning to help inspire and give hope. This is followed by powerful coaching questions to help move us all forward.

Our next session will be on Tuesday 28th November at 7pm GMT. Neither the coffee or having cameras on will be compulsory so don’t be shy. Sign up here and I’ll send you the link to join the zoom call. This month I will be sharing more of my own story and how you too move forward no matter what life has thrown at you.