What does your heart want you to know?

Back in July I had an amazing weekend at the women’s festival, Womanifest. It was an emotionally charged weekend as I got to share my story on the stage about how I’ve learned to thrive after life being derailed by cancer. It was an atmosphere where we all felt safe and understood and trust was built quickly which meant I had some very deep and personal conversations with people I’d only just met.

Twice over the weekend I was asked the same question – once during a conversation and once during a meditation. What does your heart want you to know?

Both times when I went still and listened to what was going on inside me the answer was the same, “Stop striving and just be.”

What did this mean? What was my heart trying to tell me?

It wasn’t hard to work out. I had worked so hard over the last month to make sure that my talk for the festival was as good as it could possibly be. I’d rehearsed so many times so that my presentation of it would be powerful.

I’d also been working so hard on my coaching business. Sharing more of myself and making sure that the words I used reached the women I want to help. Making sure my clients were getting the best experience I could provide. Reaching out and making connections. Making plans for the future – when I’ve finally had my surgery.

Lots of work, lots of pressure, lots of striving.

I didn’t interpret stop striving as stop working but instead to start trusting more. Trusting that what I’m doing already is enough. That giving myself space to just be, to breathe, to have fun is even more important than the work.

As some of you know I ended up having a day surgery less than 24 hours after leaving the festival and so I had to slow down for a couple of weeks while I recovered. I then had my second surgery cancelled at short notice which was really frustrating as I was dropped back into NHS waiting list limbo. I hadn’t realised just how much I was banking on being able to plan ahead both in my business and personal life once that surgery was out of the way.

The evening the surgery was cancelled, a friend who is also a member of my Facebook group, Pathways to Possibilities, sent me a message saying she couldn’t stop thinking of me after hearing my disappointing news. When I shared why I was feeling so frustrated she said, “Well you’re just going to have to find a new pathway to possibilities!” And she was absolutely right. I let that mull over for a few days – how could I take back control when everything felt at the mercy of unknown surgery dates?

The answer that came to me tapped into my word for the year which is fun and my number one value which is creativity. During the summer of 2020 when we were in lockdown I was running my group coaching programme and during the final two weeks of it when we all chose a project I decided to teach myself to draw and made a commitment to draw every day for that fortnight. It brought me a huge amount of joy. So, I made a commitment on 1st August to draw every day of August.

I shared this in my Facebook group and asked whether anyone else would join me in the challenge. They could choose whatever activity they wanted, the only proviso was it was to be something that would bring them joy, that they found fun. Quite a few of the group joined in. There were women who were making time to read every day or make time for the crafts they enjoy for example.

A couple of weeks in my mum persuaded me to have a go at using her watercolours. Oh my goodness – I cannot tell you how much joy learning and experimenting with that box of paints has brought me. I was still awaiting surgery. I still had the frustration of not being able to put some plans into action but I’d taken back control and was having fun.

And, I realised, by making the commitment to draw every day I was having to do less work. I was having to be more conscious about switching off my laptop at a time when I would still have the energy to enjoy creating some art. I was listening to my heart and stopping stiving and just being instead. I even found my weekends were more enjoyable because instead of sitting in front of the TV I was at the kitchen table learning new watercolour techniques and feeling so fulfilled and joyful.

So, what does your heart want to tell you?

Ask the question, repeatedly if necessary and see what comes up. It could be you ask yourself during or after a meditation. Or on a walk. I find walking in a green space without headphones on allows my mind to expand and let me really listen to my own thoughts. Or write the question in your journal and let the pen flow – see what develops.

Tapping into our inner knowing, listening to what our heart wants to tell us can have a profound effect on our well-being and happiness so make a little time for yourself and see what comes up. And then, as always, act on it. Listen and take action.

And speaking of action, a quick reminder that my birthday sale - 50% off the usual cost of a Jump-start coaching package ends on 30th September so if you haven't got round to it yet now is the time to click on this link and use the coupon 50THBIRTHDAY at checkout.